I Got A Gift!

 

God gave me a gift. It’s a gift I asked for.  It’s a gift I prayed for.  It’s a gift I desperately needed.  I wasn’t expecting to get it quite so soon. And I definitely wasn’t expecting to get the gift in such abundance.

The Lung Transplant Coordinator as well as the Appointment Scheduler that were working with me both wish I would have asked for this gift earlier.  The girl that works with the apartment where we will hopefully stay in Dallas wishes it would have come earlier.  My sister who had to put up with me during my week of testing wishes it would have come earlier.  And oh how Don wishes I would have asked a LOT sooner.

The gift?  It’s patience.

Without this gift, there are a few things that would have been different.  I would not have been able to relax and enjoy a week with my daughter.  A whole week!  Of course that included her family so what could have been better?  I would not have been able to enjoy an afternoon with a dear friend from high school.  I would not have been able to spend a long weekend talking late into each night with another incredibly special friend, laughing, crying, remembering.  I would not have been able to enjoy the time spent with my mom as she celebrated her 85^th birthday. I would not have been able to relax as Don and I spent some much needed time along with a priceless conversation as we talked about how all this has affected our relationship.

Without the patience God recently gave me, I would have been much more anxious just waiting for the phone to ring. I would be spending every minute with the phone in my hand, my heart racing every time it goes off.  I would be sitting at home with the car backed up to the front door and the engine running.  I would be just a bit grouchier than usual because I am ready, NOW, and what exactly is the holdup here, folks?  I mean come on, I would be shouting I'M READY NOOOOOW !!

But WITH this gift? I can keep thinking of things to add to my packed bags.  I can think about the projects I want to do while I am recuperating in Dallas. I can gather my supplies for all the things I want to do.  I can try to get the piles of paper on my desk organized and put where they really belong.  I can get ready to leave my home (and my bed?) for 3-5 months.  (Wait…this is a gift????)

In truth, I am handling this waiting much better than anyone expected.  I mean, it’s only been 23 days since I got the ‘I Am On The Transplant List’ call.  Some people wait 4 years for the ’Come To The Hospital Now’ call (in the future, I will refer to it as just ‘THE Call‘), but my Lung Coordinator thought there would be no more than 6 months of waiting.  And I’m only at 23 days?  What do I have to be impatient about? Well, I’m really kind of ready to get on with a different phase of life. I’m ready to quit spending so much time sitting.  I’d sure like a deep breath of air. I’d really like to go for a walk and still be able to breathe. I’d like a really good laugh without the worry of running out of air. I’m really kind of hoping I will be ready to get back on the tractor by spring. I'd like to actually 'swim' in the pool when it gets warmer. And I am definitely hoping we can have the grandkids again this summer.  But much much more than all that ... I am praying that my Dad’s health holds out. 

In reality, I can live with all those things whether the lungs come my way or not.  I constantly look at those who suffer so much and I constantly give thanks for MY Truly Blessed life.  But thank you for indulging me in a little bit of self-reflection. And, I do have my list of what I’d like you to pray for:

1.  My dad’s health.

2.  My mom’s ability to handle the stress she is living with of watching Daddy’s decline at the same time she sees my struggle.

3.  For God to be preparing the family who gives me a new life.  I want to know that they know God.

With love and thanks,

Nancy