Deceptively Sick?

Deceptively Sick?

The thoracic surgeon says "You are deceptively sick" and the patient replies "YES!!! I DID it!!!"

Let me explain.  All along I have worked very hard to keep my head buried in the sand (think ostrich) about what is really going on.  And even on the days when I was obviously not having a 'good' day (you know, like on days when I couldn't breathe?), I took great pride in trying to look like I was doing good, act like I was doing good, I wanted to BE good, and well, maybe I was even trying to fake everyone out (I was so sure no one could tell).

However ... The surgeon that WILL be doing my transplant (yes, we are thinking positive), came in for the consult, looked at my MRI, looked at me, looked back at the MRI, looked at me, then asked me to stand up.  I then did that in a 'very perky manner', according to him.  He pushed on my chest from the front and the back at the same time and said in a somewhat astonished voice "You're not moving any air."  So he pushed again, took a step back and said "You are not moving ANY air!!!"  He got the stethoscope out and listened.  And then, says the surgeon, "You are deceptively sick."  He validated me!  I haven't been faking it, there really IS a problem!!   Earth to Nancy... yup, there is a problem. 

So what do I do with this turn of events?  Do I get to act like I am sick now?  Like I have a disease that will require a new set of lungs?  Like I can't fix dinner anymore? Maybe I can't even do laundry...whaddya think?  Don has done it all before (and he's really good at it) so what's the big deal?  Or maybe I just keep on pushing until the day we get that phone call that says "come and get these precious lungs we have reserved especially for you". 

I've got it...my head is going back in the sand, where it belonged all this time.

 

And in the meantime, my prayer requests:

1.  Safe travel for Don and I to Dallas on Sunday and that the procedures on Monday and on Tuesday aren't too terrible awful.

2.  That the committee is in a GREAT mood on Tuesday and says YES!

3.  As always, that the family that gives life to me can be comforted.